No, it isn’t quite fall. It’s close enough, though.
Today, I gave my notice to my employer. In two weeks, I’ll no longer be a full-time programmer… or, really, in the view of our society, a full-time job holder.
Since this past February, my wife and I have both been working full-time and doing full-time child-care ourselves, with the help of my wife’s mother as she’s bee able. And given that my father-in-law passed away in May, it’s been a lot for all of us to manage.
We expected our youngest daughter, who turns five in September, to go into pre-school this October. Instead, she got wait-listed due to an abundance of children of sufficient age for pre-school (all of whom were older than our daughter).
In my therapy, I’ve been doing a lot of work untangling me from my father’s vision of me. One of those things that came up was that I saw me having an interest in technology (which includes programming). Interest, like a hobby. My father saw it as a career. A younger me, wanting to please my father and win his approval, fell into a technology career in hopes of winning his approval and attention.
Wrapping those two points together, my wife and I discussed our situation at length and decided it was a good time for me to pursue being a stay-at-home parent — rather than us going through the rigmarole of hiring a new nanny — and working on my writing career.
I feel great about this. And sad. And nervous. Sad that I’m moving away from working with some great people and friends. Nervous that my family and I are going into uncharted territory and may not be as financially secure as we were before. But, overall, I feel great that I’m focusing on spending time with my kids and I’m giving myself space to write.